


Person of Interest: Shit Gets Weird Edition: Episode 1

by stewbeef44



Series: Person Of Interest: Shit Gets Weird Edition [1]
Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Bestiality, Dark Comedy, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-02-12 18:45:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12966003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stewbeef44/pseuds/stewbeef44
Summary: Person of Interest is a wonderful show... or was, before it was sadly canceled.  Reading this fic series can help ease the blow a bit, by re-creating the show as a terrible, terrible fanfic, episode by episode.This fanfiction ruins Season 1, Episode 1.  Have brain bleach at the ready.  More chapters soon!





	Person of Interest: Shit Gets Weird Edition: Episode 1

The subway rolled on as it always did below New York, brakes screeching as it stopped at Utica Avenue. And, like clockwork, a naked old man with no teeth and a nine-inch, unshaven, permanently erect schlong walked on, looked around, and sat down next to a stray puppy.

The man turned his head slowly to face the puppy, and once he made eye contact, beamed a wide, toothless grin. With one swift motion, he hoisted the puppy up onto his bare, wrinkled lap, and whispered in its ear,

" _When you find that one person who connects you to the world, you become someone different. Someone better. When that person is taken from you, what do you become then?_ "

The puppy looked frightened. "You shall be my new wife," the old man said to the three-week old German Shepherd puppy. "Your name is Bear now. And you may call me Decima. Understood?" The young canine couldn't talk back, so it just cocked an ear in resignation to its new fate. "And now, we shall consummate our love," the old man proclaimed as he stood up, his cocksure member at the ready, "in this dark, dingy -"

"Put the puppy down."

The would-be puppy rapist known only as Decima turned to the bearded homeless man with the dark and stormy voice. "You don't understand my purpose. Violating this puppy will bring in a new world order, a planet under the watchful eye of a machine-turned-god! You must see my noble intentions as a gift for the -"

With one swift kick in the family jewels, the homeless man removed Decima from his cock, which flew into the air, penetrating several gang members unlucky enough to be in its flight path. The old man, defeated, jumped out of the subway and ran. The three survivors of the flying nine-inch shaft called the police on the bearded man, and he was brought in for questioning.

 

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